When Your Energy Isn’t Yours: The Hidden Reason You Feel Stuck, Drained, or Unable to Receive

There was a realization I had that stopped me mid-thought. The two things I wanted most in life were not actually mine to create and that’s why they felt like they were taking forever to manifest into my life. They required someone else to change their perception. Someone else to feel safe. Someone else to see differently. Someone else to give. And suddenly it was obvious why my body never felt settled around these desires. Why it always felt just out of reach and had be feeling like it was something I can never achieve in this lifetime. I had to realize:

Nothing that requires another person’s internal shift can ever feel safe to the nervous system. It places your peace at the mercy of someone else’s readiness.

And the body knows the difference.

What I thought was a manifestation problem was actually an energetic misplacement of responsibility.

I wasn’t blocked.
I was carrying.

Carrying fears that weren’t mine.
Carrying futures I didn’t believe in.
Carrying emotional forecasts that belonged to the people I love.
Carrying the weight of “what ifs” that were never generated by my own inner knowing.

Over time, my body stopped distinguishing between my signal and theirs. It all felt like mine.

When that happens, intuition becomes static. Desire becomes anxious. Receiving feels unsafe, not because you don’t believe you deserve it, but because your system is tuned to someone else’s fear of it. That’s the internal contradiction I’ve spoken about before.

This is the part no one talks about.

You can intellectually know who you are.
You can spiritually understand abundance.
You can consciously believe in ease.

But if your energetic body is running on borrowed frequencies, genuine love, the abundance of money, and true safety will always feel unattainable.

Because you are not living from yourself. You are living for others.

I realized something else too.

Our childhood says a lot about how we learn to give love and receive love as an adult. Some of us learned early on that love meant holding emotional weight so others wouldn’t have to.

We became fluent in sensing potential. In seeing beyond fear. In believing in people even when they couldn’t believe in themselves.

And somewhere along the way, love quietly turned into martyrdom.

Not because we wanted to suffer, but because we confused helping with absorbing.

There is a moment when this becomes unsustainable.

When your body says:
I cannot carry everyone and still be myself.

And that moment is not selfish.
It’s corrective.

Because true healing does not come from taking responsibility for other people’s inner worlds.

It comes from removing yourself energetically from the equation entirely.

When you stop holding the frequency for others, you return power to where it belongs, to where the transformation needs to come from in order to be healed. When you finally grasp that everyone is on their own journey and that includes emotional healing, you realize that truly loving them means unconditionally being there while they heal themselves. Unconditional love is not absorbing their emotions so they don’t have to feel them so intensely. And that is not abandonment, that is showing them how capable they are. It’s allowing them to see their own strength and know that through all moments of life they are worthy and accepted, and will always be loved.

The moment you reclaim your own energetic lane, the moment you stop buffering the discomfort of others, the moment you let your body recalibrate to its natural signal,

Love feels spacious again.
Money feels neutral again.
Thinking about the people you love no longer feels constricting, it feels whole.

Not because anything external changed. But because you are no longer living inside someone else’s fear and taking responsibility for their healing.

This is the shift.

From saving to standing.
From carrying to being.
From love as sacrifice to love as sovereignty.

Nothing needs to be forced after this. Because when your energy is finally yours, what is meant to meet you… can.

And that was the moment when I finally saw the contradiction clearly. I realized I had been carrying energies that were never mine to hold.

Beliefs.
Fears.
Limitations.
Stories about what’s possible and what isn’t.

They lived inside my body as tension, urgency, responsibility.
As if my nervous system had quietly agreed to become the meeting place for everyone else’s uncertainty.

And it looked like love.

It looked like compassion.
It looked like “seeing people’s potential.”
It looked like wanting to help them feel safe, capable, and free.

But what I was actually doing was interrupting their wholeness.

Because when you absorb someone else’s emotional frequency, you don’t heal it. You pause it. You suspend it. You keep it alive.

And you do the same to yourself.

I thought love meant transmuting pain into peace. But now I see that true love doesn’t transmute for others. It allows.

It allows someone to fully inhabit their own frequency —
even when it’s uncomfortable,
even when it’s fearful,
even when it hasn’t resolved itself yet.

Because only what is fully owned can be healed.

The moment you stop carrying someone else’s inner world, you give it back to them intact.

Whole.
Untouched.
Unfixed.

And that is not abandonment.
That is respect.

That is the deepest form of love there is.

I realized that every time I tried to facilitate someone’s healing, I was unknowingly reinforcing the belief that they weren’t already capable of it.

And the more I tried to help,
the more stuck everything stayed.

Including me.

I stopped asking:
“How do I help them see their potential?”

And started asking:
“What happens if I let them be exactly where they are, without interference?”

What emerged was something unexpected.

Safety.
Calm.
Wholeness.

Not because anything changed externally, but because I stopped fragmenting myself internally. I reclaimed my own frequency. Not by pushing others away, but by no longer carrying what was never mine.

And here’s the paradox:

When you stop absorbing someone else’s emotional weight, you don’t disconnect from them. You finally meet them.

As themselves.
And as yourself.

This is where confidence is born.
This is where autonomy breathes.
This is where people rise, not because they were lifted, but because nothing was holding them down anymore.

Including you.

And perhaps the most loving realization of all:

You don’t heal the world by carrying it.
You heal the world by standing fully, cleanly, lovingly inside yourself.

Uninterrupted.
Unapologetic.
And Whole.

You’re more loving, kind, and internally powerful than you think. Keep healing. Keep growing. Keep going.

I promise you it will be worth it.